In the grand, twisty soap opera that is the British Press obsession with Meghan Markle, the latest episode has royal watchers, gossip columns, and the so-called royal experts spilling their tea and clutching their pearls in a collective meltdown. Welcome to the saga of "The Duchess of Sussex and The Great British Snub."
The British press treated Meghan Markle like the ultimate pantomime villain for years. If she breathed too loudly, it was "Meghan's Audacious Attempt to Steal Oxygen from Britons." If she dared to wear colour, it was "Meghan's Bold Crusade Against British Tradition of Perpetual Mourning." Every move was scrutinized, every smile analyzed for hidden hostility. It seemed as though the British tabloids were competing for the "Who Can Be More Outrageously Outraged by Meghan Today" award. Frankly, Jeremy Clarkson took home the award for his vile column, which he had written shortly after a private lunch with the Queen of England, AKA the Mistress. AKA, the Queen consort. AKA Meghan Markle’s stepmother-in-law? Let’s not forget the man-child who went on national television to say that he did not believe Meghan Markle was suicidal and or that members of the royal family had concerns about her unborn child’s skin colour. After this man-child vehemently denied that the Duchess was a victim of toxic family abuse and unbearable mental health struggles, he announced to the world that members of the royal family had contacted him to thank him for defending them.
And then, in a turn of events worthy of a Shakespearean comedy, Meghan did the unthinkable – she stopped showing up in the UK after the queen’s funeral, which the British Press spent more time abusing her on television and in print than they did covering the queen’s funeral. Oh, the horror! How dear Meghan refuses to set foot on this Great British Island?
Most recently, the Duchess of Sussex announced that she planned to give the UK a miss, opting to fly over it like a modern-day Amelia Earhart on her way to Nigeria. At the same time, Prince Harry planned to travel solo to the 10th anniversary of the Invictus Games in London on May 8. This would give the Royal experts and the press a break from their favourite pastime of Meghan-bashing. One would be wrong.
Suddenly, the same outlets that had spent years vilifying Meghan were struck by a profound sense of abandonment. "Is Meghan Markle done with the UK?" they lamented, their headlines dripping with uncharacteristic concern (or perhaps just looking for a new angle for outrage).
After years of hurling tomatoes at Meghan, it's as if the British media is standing in the rain with a wilted bouquet, asking, "But why won’t you let us abuse you anymore?" “Why don’t she come back and wave to us all?” I’m not kidding; that last quote was a word-for-word quote from a royal commentator on GB fucking News.
The irony is as thick as the plot of a telenovela. After insisting she was unwelcome and unpopular, the British press now seems entitled to Meghan's presence. It's as though they've only just realized that their villain was a starring character, and with her, they're getting all the clicks, views, and a lot of fabricated drama. Perhaps it’s because the future of the monarchy rests on a pile of sinking shit. No shit, the house is so fragile that they are relying on fake photos and videos of their once-star player. They are not saying the words, but that institution is fucked. It is so bad that its future heir is safely protected behind barriers in an empty parking lot.
Meghan, on her part, appears to be living her best life, choosing peace over press and purpose over publicity. And why shouldn't she? If years of relentless scrutiny taught her anything, it's that sometimes, the best response to unwarranted criticism is to rise above it – or, in this case, fly right over it.
In the end, Meghan's decision to bypass Britain on her way to Nigeria sends a powerful message: she's steering her own narrative now, thank you very much. And the British media? Well, they're just going to have to find another pot to stir.
Meghan Markle: 1, British Tabloids: 0.
Why Meghan Markle is Saying NO to England
L J Louis is an aspiring international trade lawyer, writer, foodie, and women's advocate with a double major degree in psychology and criminology, a Bachelor of Law(Hons LLB) degree, and an advanced fitness and health promotion diploma. She writes and creates content about human sexuality, sex positivity, psychology, and Meghan Markle.
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